Six months

Wow! Our little boy is 6 mos already! Time flies. He's started eating cereal and had peas for the first time today. Noah continues to be such a sweet, laidback baby. He loves to jump and to laugh. We're so thankful for such a wonderful son! Here are a few of his six month pictures.

Hot Race

Obviously, smokin hot and 80% humidity or more. Everyone sweating
just standing around.
Trail was in great shape. Fast with just enough grip to push it into
the turns and not slide out. There were a handful of muddy spots.
Before Start: Ben "Jeff, lets grow some nuts and push it at the start
and get ahead of some of these guys who have been beating us! Let's
make them pass us!" Jeff: "You wanna a hard sprint at the start
huh?" Ben: "Yep".
But Jeff didn't get there soon enough to get on the front of the start
line like I did. I thought he was screwd. But gun went off and Jeff
was right behind me as we held 5th and 6th place into the trail.
Three riders made some ground ahead of us and left us following some
guy who was doing ok until Cliffside trail's wet switchbacks. I
decided I'd try and pass him and make up the gap to the leaders. I
yelled back, "we need to pass this guy" and when I had a chance, I
passed on a turn. Jeff didn't make it with me but I was off and
feeling really good and fast. All was good, I was pulling those guys
in, until on a rocky section my chain fell off. It took me a good
minute to get it back on with my 1x9 chain guide in the way. 2 or 3
people passed w/o saying anything so I assumed Frame was one of them.
Finished lap one and saw Janet and asked if Frame had gone through yet
and she said "no". I assumed he'd flatted or something.
Lap two I was probably riding in 6th place or 7th until I had the
chain drop again! took another minute to put it on and that's when I
began to feel the "pinch" in the legs. I thought...."oh crap, I'm not
supposed to feel that until about 5 miles from the finish!". I ended
up dropping the chain again during lap 2, another 60 seconds.
Lap 3 I ate everything I had and going into it and was probably down
to 10th by that point. I was going really slow at this point. I knew
it was going to be painful as I was already fighting cramps in my
hamstrings. Then came cramps in my quads. When I would stand up to
pedal and reach the bottom of my pedal stroke, leg fully extended, my
leg would lock straight! I had to force it to bend again! 3/4
through the last lap my hammys were wanting to seize up when I dropped
the chain again. This time Frame came up on me while I was putting
'er back on. He asked if I needed anything, I didn't...just needed to
be finished! Got the chain on and he slowed for me to help get me
going again. I only stuck wth him for just over a mile or two and
just couldn't push my legs anymore. It felt like the Brown County
Breakdown kind of pain. My arse was friggin raw as my seat pounded me
over every little bump. I was suffering! I couldn't push the pedals
down and so my rear was just bouncing all over the place! I finished
my water 20 minutes before the lap was over. Was able to pass two
more experts before the finish though.
Finished 2 minutes and 1 place behind Jeff and we were both in the
bottom 1/4 of the results. Not our best race by any means. Tough day
in the saddle.

Dreams

This is gonna be vague just so you know. Sorry.

But, two weeks ago there was no sign of my dreams coming to fruition. I had settled in my heart and mind that I would settle back into the familiar and common way I had experience in the past. My passion and dream didn't seem to working out and so I had set it aside and was in a kind of funk, but didn't want to push what could have been my own desires and not God's will. Then the intervention!
Two weeks ago I was confronted by a good friend about what I've done with my dreams and passions. He got in my face, through iChat, and told me I'd probably regret not running after this dream. He told me the things I thought needed to be in place did not have to be in place if God was with me in this. He reminded me of the way I felt alive when pursuing this dream. But there was frustration at the end of the conversation. I didn't want to have to wrestle with the dream again. It was hard to pray and to think and to process. It's work to seek God and listen. It's hard to wrestle with decisions that radically redirect the trajectory of your and your family's life. And I had settled it already in my mind and didn't want it brought back up. Then there was another intervention!
Two days later a friend from out of state, who comes into town one time a year, had lunch with me and asked about how pursuing my dream was going. I told him my fears and how I set it aside but how I had been confronted recently. And for the next hour my false perceptions of what it would take to live the dream was revealed. My confusion over my understanding of what God has called me into was clarified. I realized I was putting pressure on myself to become a different kind of person and leader because I thought the dream couldn't be realized without this kind of person. That got blown out of the water as my friend retold me my dream and showed me that the kind of person needed to pull it off what just who I am! I felt a sense of freedom I hadn't felt for a long while!
And from that day so much has happened. I mean a whole bunch! Confirmation after confirmation has been given. Family is 'on board', friends too, resources are available, mentors are saying "yes" and much more! And I'm being moved everyday with thankfulness and wondering why I get to live into my dreams and how God could be so good and his timing so perfect!
As more develops I'll be sure to post for the three of you who still look at this page!

PIcture of Heaven?

Catholic philosopher Peter Kreeft writes:

"Medievil imagery (which is almost totally biblical imagery of light, jewels, stars, candles, trumpets, and angels no longer fits our ranch-style, supermarket world. Pathetic modern substitutes of fluffy clouds, sexless cherubs, harps and metal halos (not halos of light) presided over by a stuffy divine Chairman of the Bored are a joke, not a glory. Even more modern, more up-to-date substitutes--Heaven as a comfortable feeling of peace and kindness, sweetness and light, and God as a vague grandfatherly benevolence, a senile philanthropist--are even more insipid. Our pictures of Heaven simply do not move us; they are not moving pictures. It is this aesthetic failure rather than intellectual or moral failures in our pictures of Heaven and of God that threatens faith most potently today. Our pictures of Heaven are dull, platitudinous and syrupy; therefore, so is our faith, our hope, and our love of Heaven." -Everything You Wanted to Know About Heaven

"If our pictures", John Eldridge says, "of heaven are to move us, they must be moving pictures. So go ahead-dream a little. Use your imagination. Picture the best possible ending ot your story you can. If that isn't heaven , something better is. When Paul says, "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him" (1 Cor 2:9) , he simply means we cannot out dream God. What is at the end of our personal journeys? Something beyond our wildest imagination. But if we explore the secrets of our heart in the light of the promises of Scripture, we can discover clues. As we have said, there is in the heart of every man, woman and child an inconsolable longing for intimacy, for beauty, and for adventure. What will heaven offer to our heart of hearts?"- The Sacred Romance

The Story We Find Ourselves In

Elie Wiesel suggests that "God created man because he loves stories". If we are wanting to understand the mystery of life we may want to explore it in story. We have a great hurdle to leap if we are to have our eyes opened, for we are children of the Enlightenment and the Post Modern era.

This Era, John Eldridge says, has been causing us to loose our Story. "The Enlightenment dismissed the idea that there is an Author but tried to hang on to the idea that we could still have a larger story, life could still make sense, and everything was headed in a good direction. Western culture rejected the mystery and transcendence of the Middle Ages and placed its confidence in pragmatism and progress, the pillars of the Modern Era, the Age of Reason. But once we had rid ourselves of the Author, it didn't take long to lose the larger story. In the Postmodern Era, all we have left is our small stories. It's not pentecost, it's time for spring training. our role models are movie stars, and the biggest taste of transcendence is the opening of the ski season. Our best expressions are on the level of "Have a nice day." The only reminder we have of a story beyond our own is the evening news, an arbitrary collection of scenes and images without any bigger picture into which they fit. The central belief of our times is that there is no story, nothing hangs together, all we have are bits and pieces, the random days of our lives. Tragedy still brings us to tears and heroism still lifts our hearts, but there is no context for any of it. Life is just a sequence of images and emotions without rhyme or reason." from The Sacred Romance.

So what happens if we are created in a grand story and yet don't have eyes to see it? We create our own little stories to bring meaning to our lives. Deep within us we are meant to live within a grand story and to deny that leads to searching smaller stories or creating our own. What are these smaller stories? For me...it could be mountain biking. For you? Maybe it's sports, politics, tv shows, music. Or maybe you create your own story...More on that later.

The World of the Gospel

"It is a world of magic and mystery, of deep darkness and flickering starlight. It is a world where terrible things happen and wonderful things too. It is a world where goodness is pitted against evil, love against hate, order against chaos, in a great struggle where often it is hard to be sure who belongs to what side because appearances are endless deceptive. Yet for all its confusion and wildness, it is a world where the battle goes ultimately to the good, who life happily ever after, and where in the long run everybody, good and evil alike, becomes known by his true name...That is the fairy tale of teh Gospel with, of course, one crucial difference from all other fairy tales, which is that the claim made for it is that it is true, that it not only happened once upon a time but has kept on happening ever since and is happening still." - Frederick Buechner in Telling the Truth: The Gospel as Tragedy, Comedy and Fairy Tale

The Search for Eden

Mountain Biking and Spirituality
“The Search for Eden”
An Essay Series by Ben Biggerstaff

Deep in the depths of our memory we know we were created in most beautiful place ever by the most beautiful being ever. In our spiritual DNA we have been passed down an appetite for the place where mankind began, a place called “Eden”. This place was a place unpolluted by the hands of selfish humanity, now unimaginable, where everything everywhere at all times radiated with a jaw-dropping, eye-blinding, heart-filling wonder! All around us spoke of the craftiness of the hand of the Creator of all things. And all nature, man, plant, and animal were in one accord with the Creator is it was bliss! Some things have changed since then. Mankind became selfish and ruined almost everything. But still within us is a longing to be back there.

We mountain bikers find this deep memory welling up when we find ourselves deep in the backwoods with trees taller than we’ve ever seen! We start to remember when we reach the peak of the mountain and, from the heights, look all around at the beauty with such a macro view that it seems as if nature had not been touched by mankind. We remember when we stop at the stream to hear nothing but rolling waters over smooth stones. We long for beauty and this longing draws out of town and into nature.

We know as we leave the garage driving to the parking garage and through the walking tunnel into the office, not catching a bit of fresh air, that something is missing. We long for the weekend not simply to get a good ride in but something deeper, we desperately want to be back in Eden. We want to be back where all things are in sync with one another. We want to be back where beauty is everywhere. We want to be back where things are unspoiled, where we can be in the quiet and possibly hear from the Creator of it all. For, it is the Creator that dreamed up all this beauty in the first place. And it is the Creator that is revealed through the beauty to which we are drawn.

This longing lies deep within us all. If it is not mountain biking, it is fishing or hunting or can be seen in how we drool over a simple sunset. We are being reminded of something that has been lost, beautiful relationship with all things. But in an ancient text it says, “behold I am making all things new”. This God-Man, Jesus, is saying he’s bringing all things together again. It has begun already and will be finished one day. The beauty calls to us on the trail, the Creator calls to us on the trial through the beauty. He reminds us we were made for beauty. He beckons us to join Him in making all things new and beautiful again!

Picking A Good Line

I began a series of Essays, I guess you could call them, about the parallels I see between Mountain Biking and Spirituality. Here is Essay #1 called "Picking A Good Line"

I’ve been a mountain biker for the last six years advancing from a casual weekend rider to a competitive Cat 1 racer. I’ve also been spiritually awake for the last nine years. And in the overlapping time I’ve found many parallels and insights that some times bring more clarity, and sometimes bring further distraction and confusion, to what is really important in life. This is a bit about that.

“Picking a Good Line”
One of the first things I did after my first mountain bike race was get a copy of Mountain Bike Like a Champion by Ned “The Lung” Overend. The two things I have always remembered from that book are how to take a turn with all your weight on the outside foot and how to use your eyes to navigate the trail.

If a rider is to really rail a turn there has to be commitment. There has to be courage in his loins (I love that word). I love what G.K. Chesterson says about courage,
“Courage is almost a contradiction in terms. It means a strong desire to live taking the form of a readiness to die. “He that will lose his life, the same shall save it” (quoting Jesus) is not a piece of mysticism for saints and heroes. It is a piece of everyday advice for sailors or mountaineers (or mountain bikers, if you will). The paradox is the whole principle of courage; even of quite earthly or quite brutal courage. A man cut off by the sea may save his life if he will risk it on the precipice. He can only get away from death by continually stepping within an inch of it…(he) needs to combine a strong desire for living with a strange carelessness about dying. He must not merely cling to life, for then he will be a coward, and will not escape. He must not merely wait for death, for then he will be a suicide, and will not escape. He must seek his life in a spirit of furious indifference to it; he must desire life like water and yet drink death like wine.” –italics mine.

And so we riders find ourselves faced with this at, literally, every turn. Will we have courage to rail the turn or will slam on the brakes, put our foot down and loose all momentum? Or will we throw our weight to the outside, lift our finger off the brake and for the sake railing the turn, risk tumbling into the thorn bushes and possibly get a greater taste of our potential?

The second thing “The Lung” teaches is a rider must look where he wants to go. Don’t want to his that stump ahead? Then look at the line around it! A smooth rider must keep his eyes looking ahead, spot the obstacle and the clear line around or over it and point his bike that direction while continuing to look past it for the next line. The peripheral vision is used here. We always keep our eyes on where we want to go. Identify the obstacle and line and do it over and over and over again through the course of a ride. When the focus is brought to the root immediately in front of the tire, the momentum is lost and we find ourselves on our face in the dirt.

So many of us have been hurt by others or seen someone hurt others and made promises in our hearts that, “I will never be like that person.” This is an example of focusing on the stump on the trail. Focusing on the negative does not usually get us to the positive. And so the challenge is to focus on what we want to become or achieve and to have the courage to commit while risking failure. For me, I remember a passage in an ancient text, “Fix your eyes on Jesus”, who called himself “The Son of Man” or the spitting image of what humanity was meant to be. And as I navigate the single track I am reminded that by focusing on him I am becoming more of the kind of person he would be if he were me.

Affair

I've been having an affair with facebook.com for some months now. It's tearing my relationship with the-biggerblog.blogspot.com to pieces. I'm sorry for everyone who has been harmed because of my selfishness:)

Daddy Tummy Time

Noah Update

Noah has gained a pound in the last week! He's now 8lbs 14oz.

"Sweet blessing/Eye of the Tiger"

So I (ben) am the primary blogger on thebiggerblog but Jen wanted me to add this pic of Noah and I guess she thought that she would also suggest a title. She said, "how bout something like Sweet Blessing?". I chuckled cause I was thinking something more like "Fierce Tiger!". So we compromised!

Anyhow, Noah is friggin awesome! He has slept really well the last two nights. He is soothed easily and loves "belly time" with both of us!

This was our attempt at a portrait of Noah. I just laid him on his Moby Wrap with some day light shining in and used some iPhoto effects and there you go.

He was born on April 4th, weighed 7lbs 6oz. and was 22 inches long. He has noticeably long feet and fingers! We joke, if babies work the same as puppy's he's gonna be a big boy!

New Chapter Starts Tonight

Today is the day for Jen and me to move from husband and wife to mom and dad! It's really weird watching the "page turn" arrive. There's all kinds of preparations that have taken place over the last 6 months or so. Even two days ago we were doing final...well Jen was doing final house cleaning projects in preparation. But yesterday as the page in this chapter was already standing on edge, we couldn't read what was on this side or the other side of the page... We didn't know how we were supposed to spend our last full day of just "us". So we pretty much did the same ol' stuff. Got lunch at Qdoba, took a long nap, the normal stuff. But today we are able to see the first page of the new chapter and it's reads, "pack the truck, pray, charge batteries, figure out the camcorder..."

A Name

An ancient Jewish saying goes like this, "As he is named, so he will be".
Benjamin means "Son of my right hand" and that is my deepest reality, a son of God's right hand.

And so we are led to name our son Noah Ryan.
Noah means or sounds like the hebrew word for, "Rest and Comfort"
Ryans means, "Little King"
And of course you think of Noah in the Biblical text being a man of Faith and Righteousness who "walked with God".

Therefore we pray our son will become a man who will walk by faith in his place as a little King (prince) of our God who brings rest and comfort in the name of Jesus to all he comes to know.

Mitzvah

"Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and obey it."- Jesus

ReJesus

I'm reading a new book about Christology. Simply put for leaders in the church and followers of Jesus alike we must ask the question who is Jesus? and from that answer ask what was his Mission and from that ask how we join with him in our time and place as his church (Ecclesiology). And this book is all about who this "Wild Messiah for the Missional Church" is.

He'll be here soon!

Here's the latest pic of Noah. He's getting a little cramped in Jen's belly! He's is a strong boy and loves punch and kick especially with those big feet!

Franciscan Blessing

“May God bless you with a restless discomfort about easy answers, half-truths and superficial relationships, so that you may seek truth boldly and love deep within your heart. May God bless you with holy anger at injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people, so that you may tirelessly work for justice, freedom, and peace among all people. May God bless you with the gift of tears to shed with those who suffer from pain, rejection, starvation, or the loss of all that they cherish, so that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and transform their pain into joy. May God bless you with enough foolishness to believe that you really can make a difference in this world, so that you are able, with God’s grace, to do what others claim.”

-The Franciscan Blessing

M.U.N.R

What could bring two Ball State Professors, Two Ball State Faculty, One Ball State Grad Student, Three Bike Shop Employees and one police officer together to endure two hours of 15 degree temperatures out in the snow? M.U.N.R! That's what!

A couple months ago Layne Cameron, a Ball State Faculty and avid cyclist, had an idea to keep him cycling through the winter w/o having to resort to the indoor trainer. He called up the guys at Kirk's Bike Shop and said he'd be by the shop at closing if anyone wanted to join him for a night mountain bike ride around Muncie. So it began with three riders covered head to toe with hats, glasses, gloves, fleece, windbreakers, windproof pants, and shoe covers along with headlamps for what is now called M.U.N.R (Muncie Urban Night Ride).

M.U.N.R has grown from one guys idea to a regular "come one, come all" standing Tuesday night group ride that meets at Kirks Bike Shop at 6pm. These are fun rides but can also be what some participants have called "grinders!" and "epic" rides. This was the case this past Tuesday with 6 inches of snow on top of icy trail and grass. Many fell into the powdery fluff simply to rise up and proclaim, "That was awesome!". Some ride what has become the regular 13 mile loop and others choose to turn home early for a shorter loop. This is a great ride for all levels of riders because it stays in town, close to everyones home or vehicle.

Want to join the ride next week? Here's what you need to know:
This is a mountain bike ride so nobby tires are best. This is a night ride so put on a camping headlight, tape a flashlight to your handlebars or stop by Kirk's Bike shop and purchase a light. It's winter time! So dress warm! Don't want to do the full 13 miles? No problem. About half way through the group passes through down town Muncie again and you can cut out at that point.

Here's a couple pictures from M.U.N.R this past week

Say Hello to Noah Ryan Biggerstaff

Here's Noah sleeping on his hand inside Mommy! He'll be here before we know it! April 3rd or so!